Konch Magazine - "Fly on the Wall" by Ishmael Reed

Fly On The Wall

Scene: Bar frequented by cops.


 (Bad Apples. A bar in a backwater municipality near St. Louis. A bedroom community for cops who commute to Ferguson. Some of the cops are playing darts. Others are watching a baseball game on an 80” screen television. Once in awhile a cheer goes up as a player makes a hit. 3 white cops are at the bar. They’re drinking boiler makers. Steins of beer chased by shots of whiskey.)


Ist Cop: That Darren. The guy is soft. If one of these King Kong sized Motherfuckers had rushed me like he did Darren, I would have given the motherfucker the Diallo special.

2nd Cop: He rushed Darren? Where did you hear that?

Ist Cop: It was on Fox. Said that the kid punched Darren and injured his eye socket.

3rd Cop: The kid got what was coming to him. Walking in the middle of the street.

Ist Cop: Darren told him politely to stop blocking traffic. He stole those cigarillos and pushed

the store clerk. A gorilla.

Bartender: Your chief is a real stand up guy. Went to bat for Darren. He said okay, you want the cop’s name. How about this! He shows the video of the thug stealing those cigarillos. Genius.

2nd Cop: See all of these niggers coming in from out of town. Supporting this hoodlum.

Like a convention of the planet of the apes. (The three laugh.) Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. You can always count on those two coons to show up.

Bartender: The niggers backed up when those armored cars rolled in. Tear gassed them niggers.

(Cheer goes up as a player hits a homerun. A cop goes to the jukebox. Soon, Hank Williams, Jr.’s is heard. “The South Would Have Won.”)

3rd Cop: My son was part of the State police. Said that he chased this pregnant black bitch.

She said ‘Please officer’ (mimics). He tear-gassed the bitch, and some kid comes up to help her and my son tasered the motherfucker.

2nd Cop: Hear these liberals talk about too much force? Including their monkey Kenyan president. What has he done for white people?

Ist Cop: Not a damned thing. We have to show these apes that we are ready.

(They drink in silence.)

Ist Cop: They raised over $300,000 for his defense and the guy is on paid vacation.

2nd Cop: Why does he need $300,000? Mark O’ Mara would probably represent him for free.

3rd Cop:  See what he told those bitches on the jury when Zimmerman plugged that other homeboy?

Ist Cop: You convict this man and one of these overgrown bucks will come into your house and rape you.

2nd Cop: So he gets paid vacation, maybe a half mill, and free defense.

Ist Cop: Not to mention the Today Show, a book deal, and maybe a movie deal.

2nd Cop: I’m going to go out and kill me a nigger.

(They laugh. One of three blacks on the Ferguson force enters. They all greet him warmly. Cheer goes up as another home run is hit. There’s a silence.)

Bartender: (To black cop) So who you got for the Series?